I didn't shave. On purpose
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
