it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
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