AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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