You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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