Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
