The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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