I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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