I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize