she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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