That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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