I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
