Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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