I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
