Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
There r osticjed everywhere
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
