my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
