i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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