I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
