come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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