i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Its about making memories worth repressing
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
