I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
