Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
