I swear she didn't look like that last week.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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