YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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