with your own penis?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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