either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
