6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
