It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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