is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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