hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
