doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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