So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
