god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize