No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
