The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
