the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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