I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I have tasted many bathrooms
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
