i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
