I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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