Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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