i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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