Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
