Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
operation have a gay friend backfired
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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