VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
