i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
