i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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