I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
