..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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