ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
