we have officially lost it.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
