i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize