i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize