I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
