im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
