Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize
