am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
