More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
