Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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