After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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