wanna go halves on a baby?
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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