I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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