You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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