And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
