two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
