who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize