I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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