I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
love makes seman taste better
Everything about him screamed your future.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
