it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Can I color on your dick again?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
