weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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