You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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