Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
