Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize