i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
