Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
