So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Randomize